I’m going to interrupt the regularly scheduled continuation of “My Crazy Life…“, to tell you all of the last week (well, technically the last 6 days), as, it has certainly altered my perceptions, and to some extent, my reality.
Last Saturday (08SEP2018), I had decided I would ride my bicycle to Sac. It’s a nice ride, and one I haven’t done in quite some time. And too, I wanted to test my slowly rebuilding strength as, as many of you are aware, I hadn’t been as physically active the last -nearly- 7 years.
It began that Morning, and was actually going really well! I wasn’t experiencing any of the fatigue I’d been expecting, and got to West Sac. in just under an hour (between 45-54 minutes, I wasn’t using a stop watch). I was feeling pretty good about the trip!
I stopped at the Arco for some Glaceau Vitamin Water (a refreshing source of electrolytes… I think), and a couple of bananas. Quaffed and eaten, I went to carry on to Sac, just a few minutes away from where the I-80 bypass bike trail ends.
I waited a minute or so for traffic, until a nice woman driver of a truck stopped to let me cross. I checked traffic once more, and started across… no sooner had I passed the woman in her truck, when another woman in her Mini-Cooper took out the front tire of my bicycle!
I am fine, I suffered only a little shock, an equivalent to a “rug-burn” just above my left elbow where I rolled across her right-front quarter panel, and a couple of bruises just above the knee on either leg. My bike however, roles no more.
Even there, the damage was “minimal”, though total, and I had to wheelie the bike to the curb where she followed, on the opposite side of the street.
I ended up back in Sac later that afternoon (this occurred around 1145), not deterred from the endeavor to which I’d set out on that morning. And it was while sitting in Capitol Park that I had the time, and the “quiet”, to really think about my Life, its directions, where I am and where I want to be. You know, the light stuff… LOL
And I decided that I was taking too much of my present “situation” too seriously. I’d really been “down” about it as of late. Not that it was actually bothering me, but it had become an irritant, like the fly that keeps doing circles around your head, no matter how oft you swat at it. Not so much that you’ll get up and grab the fly-swatter, but enough to be annoying, and keep you from really focusing on your work! (Similarly to how the flies are beginning to annoy me now as I sit in my Friend’s back yard, typing this…)
If I had started out a fraction of a second earlier, it would have been me that got mangled up, and not the front part of my bicycle. A FRACTION. Not an entire second, but an infinitesimal portion of a second. Such (if you’ll excuse the extremity of the word…) brutal, “in-your-face” reminders of our temporary status in this existence, can (and will) really make you aware of how precious, how fleeting, how fragile these Lives we live are, and cause -at least for me- a deeper appreciation of Divinity and Their presence in our Lives! No matter where you are at in your Life, such things will indelibly alter your perception(s), and cause any sentient being to evaluate her/his position(s)/stance(s) on the Lives we are presently engaged in!
And so I did. And I realized that regardless of how much appreciation I had for the “freedom” I’d re-aqcuired, I was being ungrateful for and towards those who were (are) allowing me to stay in their facility, because of pride. Because things weren’t as I wanted them to be, and they weren’t willing to let me have it just as I wanted it. I’d been acting like a spoiled rotten brat.
I had (have) been spoiled, by my ideals, by the minute experience of a past Life, in which I was in charge, and didn’t have to abide by rules someone else had set (for my benefit, whether I agree(d) or not), nor to answer to if I failed to comply. (I am of course referring to “my” Life before incarceration.)
And so, I decided it was time for (yet another/more) change in my behavior. It matters not what I want, but what I have, and what I’m willing to do with it. If we do not make the most of the opportunities we are given, we might well lose them.
And that was/is the (greater portion) of what has been on my mind this week. Gratitude. Gratitude for what I have, and for those providing me with it. And to them I say, “Thank you!”, and “Namaste!”
And to all of you, I say “Thank you!”, for having a part in my Life, for allowing me to share in the moments that make up this reality, and for hanging with me, despite my stubborn and relentless desire to be right, instead of simply doing right!