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Posted by: Elron Mings | 12July2011

My Letter to An Angel & Phoenix!

The only way(s) one can speak with an Angel or Phoenix is through Belief, Prayer, Spell, and perhaps in -physically- written form, save for the obvious, and perhaps “less” likely, “in person”.  (Unless you know one!  😛 )  Now, thanks to the advent of technology, we can reach out to the Universe through cyber-space!  One day, perhaps we’ll share more through telepathy.

Nya melda mellon,

                If/when you ever read these passages, I hope there is no confusion as I skip back and forth from “letter” style to Journal entry.  LOL  I try to go with what feels right, and thus far, the only constant -and Positive- “feeling” I have/get is that I keep writing.  I Promised.

Though it becomes more daunting each time, as with the passage of time, the likelihood -from my “mortal” point of view- of you reading them/it seems to dwindle… but, what do I know?  I’m just a silly man, a little fish in a big pond, trying to make my Dreams come true.

                Case in point: I’ve tried by every means I am capable of and know about to reach out to you, without violating your request/demand for space, and for me to “stay away”.

The cruel silence sworn never again to be, haunts me still, and I know not if/when it will end.

                And yet, still I reach!  Still, I continue to write, still I continue to Dream!  Still, though you deserve -at least the chance- to share in the Glory of all my successes, as none would’ve been possible without you, I celebrate them alone.

                There is so, SOOO much, I want and wish I could share with you!  Things I can only share with you!  The Things I’ve been Shown, Memories recalled, Images, so Real of our past Lives together!  Every sense is filled with them!  {All 9 or more of them!! 🙂 }  Remembrance of our time spent Together before you left for boot camp & then before “A” School!  Remembrance sharing the knowledge of these Lives with you as we lay together in Love, entwined in each others Souls, words connecting Past, Present, and Future as One!  So much, so fast, yet bound by time in each Precious Moment!  In each others eyes we saw beyond mortal flesh and through time into the Universe!  We touched in ways beyond the flesh, Souls uniting, Love binding, we became One!

                You’ve said it twice now, “It all happened so fast!!”  Yes!  It did!  Love is not bound by time, but  by memory.  By the way we remember/recall/felt things happen.

                Blessed in those moments, we shared Lives of Love, found the keys of time and unlocked our Spirits to the Reality of Forever!  “Always & Forever!” you said, then I “Forever and Anon!”

                Our Love is so Great we broke the rules of time!

                So we paid for it.  You’ve actually suffered physically for your memory loss, I’ve suffered… well, for lack of memory in general.  We’ve both suffered.  As long as we’re Together though, we may remember more!  When we’re apart, if we’re not careful, memories can fade.

                It’s taken me nearly 17 years to recall half the time we spent together!  Yet as each Blessed Memory returns, more of the “puzzle” makes sense!  Life, then, makes sense.  And it is when I’m thinking of you that the pieces come together!

                Sadly, I don’t know what, if any of this, you recall… we talked about your memory loss (of our first Union), but -you- said little of/about what you recalled.

Those memories locked away have started coming back to me, in this our most Blessed Magickal year so far this Lifetime, but not without a further cost.

                For I am alone.  The only One I could share this with, You, hasn’t spoken a “meaningful” word to me in nearly two years!

                I’ve tried every way I know how to, tried to at least have some dialogue between us, and you’ve shut me out of your Life completely, texting a demand I not come near you or your daughter on bane of a Restraining Order!  Have I really done something worthy of such a threat?  I don’t know, you’ve not told me anything, other than “It all happened too quickly”, and you “needed your space”, as you and y/”our” {I acknowledge I have no legal right or “claim” to call her “my own”, yet, for three of the most Glorious months of my Life, I was Blessed with the opportunity to share something so pure, so powerful, so un-jaded, unconditional, unyielding as a Child’s Love, and for but a moment, I felt as though the title “Daddy” fit…}Precious little Princess hadn’t yet had it -space- on your own before.  That’s it.

                And so I wait, and Pray.  I Pray that you follow the Path that will bring you the Greatest Love, the deepest Joy, the Truest Partners, Family, and Friends, the fullest and most fulfilled Moments possible! …Whether they include me or not…

                I fear the pain of the loss of our Children furthers your desire to forget what you may recall/remember… but we must strive to recall all we can of the past, and always remember, while we’re able, that we may quit repeating the mistakes therein!  Without knowledge of the Pain, we are unable to truly appreciate the Bliss that is its opposite!

                I’ve been SO BLESSED!!! to have these memories back!  Some of, no, many of them hurt, yet they are Beautiful, and Precious Moments, each and every one!  It hurts more that I’m unable to share them with you, as you’re the only one that might remember too…

                Words cannot express, the intricacy, the synchronicity, the intimacy, and Beauty of the Universe found in each and every one of these memories, and we SHARED them, in a time and place you’ve forgotten, and I’m struggling to remember!!

                Of course, I can’t say that for sure anymore.  I don’t know what you may or may not recall/remember, we “haven’t had the chance” to talk about that yet.  When last I tried to have the conversation with you, -before I left there for here the first time- you said little and changed the subject!

                Two more years have nearly gone by.  So many Precious Moments lost…

                Mother Earth has helped Heal me (we have to want it…), and Heavenly Father made it possible, that I recall yet more of the best days, the best Moments of my Life!  Life for me is finally back on track, I’ve been, and remain to be, so Blessed!  But so alone…

It has been said that to achieve/discover Ones Destiny, “One must remember it first!”

                It’s funny, and a little sad.  That we must lose something, before we can find it.

And I’ve found you, twice!!  And the Blessings I’ve received pursuing my Dreams are too many to be told!

                Though, if given the chance, nothing, for me, would bring me Greater Joy than trying to share them all with you!  And to share with you all the Glories of your Dreams coming true as you pursue them!  That -those- Blessing(s)… is/are out of my hands.  Just out of reach…  But I believe Dreams can come and do come true!!

                I found my Angelic Moon Goddess, my Queen, a Phoenix!!  Twice!  Now , if she wishes, it’s her turn, she must find me.  And should our Paths cross once more, it will be an honor, and the Greatest Blessing of Love I’ve ever known!  To share, if even only a few of those moments we’re given so few of!  If given the opportunity I would be her King to the Greatest of all my abilities!  I can, I SHOULD do no less!!  She’s the Woman of my Dreams!!  In truth, I would happily be her servant!  A part in her -your- Life, would far out way no part in it.  But  I’ve let her -you-, “my” Phoenix fly free, and/or she has chosen to fly away, that she may choose her own Path too!  Whether she remembers our pasts together -Physically and Spiritually- in this Life, or chooses to forget, is her choice.  Your choice.  If she -you- want to remember, I’ll do all I’m able to help you recover those memories, to help you recall the Beauty, the symmetry, the Poetry that has been our Lives, and the Love we shared!  Or we can start anew, and make it up as we go! LOL  But it is your choice where, and if you land, and whom you fly/roost with. It is, or would be, mine to help ensure our house is a Home, and to be a Gatherer!  No matter how we do it, no matter what we do, if we do it together, Nothing can stop the Flight of 2 Phoenix’ Love!  Together, Forever, we will fly!  “Third time’s the Charm!”  😛

                We each get to choose, that’s the Greatness & freedom of being Human!  I’ve chosen my Path, and the One I wish to, would like to, and have Dreamed of walking it with!!  I’ve seen it!  It’s Real!!  As Humans, we get to choose to make our Dreams a reality, or our nightmares.  Or some of them, or none.  I “want” all of my Dreams to come True.  But I can only control the outcome of those that are only about me.  To SHARE a Dream, both must want it.  And when 2 or more SHARE Dreams, that’s when the Magick happens!  That’s when our Dreams become Reality, when we become bigger than ourselves, and if we all dared so much, what a wonderful World it would be!

                I Pray thee well!!  And may all your Dreams come true!

Ine Mela lle yo ilya nya hon nya melda mellon!!

Aloha!  Namaste!  As-Alamu ‘Alaykum!

 Forever and Anon,

James Elrond Mings

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