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Posted by: Elron Mings | 6July2011

Stopping the madness: No holds bard edition

A topic I’ve wanted to write about for a long time, but had not found a forum for, has become a four part article on examiner.com.  Here is what it may have looked like, had I not been limited to 300-500 words per article (as it is/was, that’s why it became a “four-part” article…  LOL)  😛

Take a look at the world around you!  We all have a part in it, we all have accepted an ever increasing decline in our expectations, we all have the opportunity to change, and stop accepting the “bare minimum”, from each other, and more importantly, from ourselves!

In order to successfully live our lives, we (all 7,000,000,000 + of us) need 3 things:  Love, food, and shelter.  And in that order.  We ALL have this in common.  So what makes any one of us different from the rest of us?  That too, is simple.  The choices we make.

There is no catch, there’s no trick answer, no hidden agenda, we ALL need these things.  We all want these things, more than anything else.  So why has starting, having, and sustaining our relationships become so… jaded?  Because, as we have so many times before, we began to expect less, not only from each other, but again, from ourselves!  And we have thus accepted less, of others, and of ourselves, in our attainment of “happiness”.

We only ever see ourselves through other people’s eyes.  That is what makes the relationships we maintain so critical!  The fact that we rely on others, to help us to define ourselves, means we all should be striving to better ourselves, by striving to better the quality of the relationships we have with others!  We should not be allowing a degradation of the collective consciousness, deprive us of being the best we can be, by surrounding ourselves with less than what we deserve!  And we all deserve the very best out of life, and from those we Love!

So how do we get it?  Love is a two way street, as is Karmic law.  We get back what we give, by some degree greater than it was in its “original” form.  By making an effort, greater than what the minimum “acceptable” limit is, we show we care!  We begin a relationship, by being interested, and staying interested, by giving what we can to make it work!

So why do relationships fail?  Because, we stop trying!  Because material possession means more than being happy with what we have, and as long as we can be “secure” in our stagnant ponds, we don’t have to worry about “the world outside”, so long as no waves disturb our peace.   Don’t bother watering the dying plant, just buy a new one!  We’ve become disposable.  We don’t want to improve any more than is required to “get by”, and why bother putting forth the effort for perfection when good enough is easy to find, and easy to replace?  Regardless of whether or not we’re actually HAPPY “getting by”.  Besides, the accumulation of wealth is much more attractive, and takes a lot less effort!  As long as we can “show” our value, why bother being of value?

Why aren’t we striving to do the most we can to see our dreams come true?  Why are we fighting each other?  Why are we doing the very thing(s) we know will hurt one another?  What sense does that make?  None of us want anything that everyone else doesn’t want too!  So why are we fighting over doing what we want, instead of just doing it???  Why are we still struggling so hard, to be ourselves, and do what makes us happy?  Why are we doing what other people tell us will make us happy, instead of deciding for ourselves what and how that is?  Life is so VERY short, NONE of us are Promised tomorrow, so why aren’t we trying harder to HELP one another, and do what we’ve always wanted to do, LIVE?? 

We, the “most intelligent” creatures on the planet, continue to struggle more than any other species to attain the 3 things we need most.  Why?  We are not stupid, slow, uncreative, unimaginative, or incapable of change!  We simply refuse to do so, because it might take a little more effort than settling for less than what we want, so long as it’s easier, doesn’t take as much time, and doesn’t involve the pain honesty might cause, when we admit we’re not doing all we can to better ourselves!  Instead of trying to share and enjoy the Life we interact with!  Instead we attempt to claim “bragging rights” for being better than everyone else, having more, instead of being more… and in this way we think we’ve “earned” more time to acquire that wealth that is so much more important than… what???  In who’s Life, is money more important than living???  Who among us wants anything more than being surrounded by those we Love, living as best as we’re able, sharing the joys and hardships, Living!  And if we are so fortunate (Blessed, for those with Faith), to rise the next day, among the same Loved ones, and do it all again?  We ALL want to Live, and to leave a chance for a better Life for our children (should we be so Blessed to have them in our lives), we all want the most out of and in Life.  We cannot have Life without Love, and vice versa.  They go hand-in-hand, we don’t get one without the other, so why have we endeavored for so long to remove Love -True Love, Charity- from what we consider “most” important while Living?

We should have in our lives, and/or be seeking to have in our lives, the lasting, fulfilling, life-long relationships that provide not only the foundation(s) of/for our social networks, but ground us to the “us” we want to become and/or remain to be!  If we are not now happy with ourselves, we cannot expect to be able to make another happy!  Or said in the more popular way, “We cannot love another if we do not love ourselves!” 

We are in the “prime” of our lives when we understand most what it means to “be alive”, and are more capable now than perhaps ever before, and mayhap ever be again, of achieving the “best years” of our lives, through our deeds!  We are at the top of the bell curve for “self” discovery, (I prefer to say “acknowledgement”, because, again, we’ve always been capable, we’ve simply cluttered our Lives with things we don’t truly need) as we should be transitioning from the “age of wonder” into the “age of accomplishment”.  In our thirties, we’re in the last decade or two of our lives before our bodies begin to drastically slow us down -by comparison-, preventing us from the level of activity we can now achieve/maintain.  But it’s never too late!  So long as we breathe, we are capable of choosing the right!!

Life is magick!!  All of it, every -otherwise seemingly- insignificant little bit, is magick!  The air we breathe, (breathing for that matter), the water we drink, the food we eat, the places we go, the things we do!  The words we use, the actions we take, and the ones we only think about taking!  The very thoughts we think, the sounds we hear and/or listen to, IT IS ALL A VIBRATIONAL energy we share, and it affects anything and everything and everyone around us!!!  We are capable of affecting our world(s), our environment(s), each other, simply by the way we interact with it/them!  Our beating hearts are a part of that rhythm too, as is/are the things we do to that heart, physically, and emotionally.

Yet we keep getting in our own way!  We accept 2nd best, because it’s easier, and we dare not expect too much, or we might get hurt!  If we don’t expect the best, we will rarely get it!  And I’m not talking about physical gain, I’m talking about Spiritual gain!  Everything physical passes!  It will not last.  At this point in our Lives, in our history, we should be making the changes in our “reality” that enable us to do the most, for the ones we care about the most!  We know Life is short, and can go at any time, so why are we still accepting the bare minimum?

We will not last long if we cease to believe that anything less than our dreams are possible!  If/When WE limit ourselves, we keep ourselves from the greatness we can achieve, by simply “accepting” things as they are, instead of continuing to strive for better!  And if we are continually striving to be better, how can we go wrong? 

It doesn’t always have to be “easy”.  Life’s not suppose to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be difficult either!  Just so long as it is what we want!  For if it makes us happy, the “toils” necessary to make it work, really don’t seem so bad.  It’s when we continue to struggle against ourselves, that we get caught up in making “things” more important than people, because they are “easier” to maintain.

There’s an old truism that goes:  “If we don’t learn from the past, we’re doomed to repeat it.”  As baffling as it may be… we still haven’t learned!

It’s time for that to stop!  We are (as we have always been) smarter than that!  And we have less of an excuse now than ever before, as we have “the digital age” to thank for streaming everything to race the information to us at near the speed of light!

We know better than to let greed corrupt our government, it’s what caused the Roman Empire to fall.  We know better than to let greed corrupt the market place, for it puts the middle class, the “Mom & Pop” stores, out of business.  We know better than to continue to pursue, and maintain relationships built on sand, instead of stone, for the foundation is what allows them to last!

Why are we so eager, to live hellishly, incapable of escaping the repetitive (cyclic) existence, repeating time and again, the very mistakes that made us unhappy to begin with?  Because we allowed someone else to convince us it is what we wanted!

It took me nearly losing my life for me to realize that my ex-wife cared more for the money I made than me, and before I would admit to myself that our relationship had “officially” ended.

But I still hadn’t learned.  For then I had to lose my unborn twins, before I began to truly appreciate how precious, and how delicate, how rare and beautiful life is!!  And how rare, the true bliss that is, or can be found, with the “person” of your dreams, who matches and compliments you completely!  And how quickly it all can be lost.

Only then, did it dawn on me, that EVERYTHING we do, matters!  The way we perceive things, the way we react, the words we use, the tones of our voices, our smiles -or lack thereof- affects reality as we know it!  Seeing the glass as half full, gives us hope, while seeing it half empty, fills us with the dread of what may yet be lost.  Only then, did being me become a priority, and the determination that every day, I would endeavor to be, and to become, the best me I could be, for we are NEVER promised tomorrow!  How much more must be lost, before we see that together we stand, divided, we fall?

We are capable of anything!  If we simply put our minds to it, we are capable of turning our wildest dreams, our craziest imaginings, into reality!  Just ask the Wright brothers, who were told time and again, “You’re crazy if you think you can fly!”  What happened to that unstoppable force of determination?  Of daring to be different, that set this great Nation on its course?  It got lost somewhere (I think) along the industrial age, as quality was replaced by quantity, and dreams were replaced with the “reality” that only the “rich” can afford to have fun… the rest of us have to work too hard for it, and by the time enough has been saved to retire, we’re not left with much to celebrate!

Why?

We are not bound to fail!  We are not expected (or shouldn’t be) to settle for things as they are!  We are capable of change!  We, ourselves, determine each and every day, whether we are going to accept things as they are given us, and remain stagnant, or take what we are given and make the most of it!

We have the choice, to learn from all that has befallen us, or to complain about it, and place the blame on someone else for the fact that we have not/did not put forth the effort to make a difference.  To be different.

Each new day, if we are so Blessed to rise, we choose, whether we shall rise to meet the challenges presented us that day, or take a back seat, and let someone else decide for us what they think we deserve.  We either succeed in bettering ourselves, and each other, or concede defeat in the face of opposition, and allow someone else to bear the burden.

Life need not be so complicated, nor our relationships.  When we meet someone for the first time, we can either do so with honesty, and the hope that one day something meaningful may come of it, or with dishonesty, knowing that at some point, the deception, once laid bare, will irreparably divide us, and cause yet more and pain and grief to be perpetuated.

We CAN do it!  We can make the difference!  We can shape our lives, as we see fit, by doing what makes us happiest, by seeking to obtain only that which we need, and giving back whenever so given the chance.  Or we can capitulate, treating each other no more honestly than we treat ourselves, trying to convince someone else that there is no escaping the pain we inflict.

We can change the world, we can make a difference.  We can reach for the stars, and touch them, hold and keep them.  Or we can believe what others say, that it can’t be done, that we can’t succeed, that we can’t change our world, merely accept it as it is, making no improvement “in the now”, or for future generations, leaving it to them to figure out, if they are even given the chance to do so.

All that’s stopping us, is us!  We limit ourselves, no one else.  No one is capable of keeping us from making our dreams come true.  Only we can decide if they are worth “fighting” for (metaphorically only, I am in no way condoning violence), or if we would rather lower our expectation(s) of what can be, and settle for 2nd best, as opposed to being the best we can be, in all aspects of our Life.  When we do our best, we find our best.  And ironically, in so doing, we also discover, we can do a lot more than we thought we could!

I wish, I dream, of nothing more, and nothing less, than one day being surrounded by my Family and Friends, and to share with them me, being me.  The best me I can be, and to share with them, they being the best they can be!  Or, the attempts we make therein.  Because that is what Life is about.  Not always being successful, or the best, but continuing to try!!  A great person once said, “It is when we fail that we learn to succeed!”  It really, truly, IS, that simple.

Our relationships are all we have, in the end.  They are all that make us “real”.  What will you see, when next you look to increase or strengthen a relationship?  Better yet, what will someone else see, when next they look to relate to you?

{To see the “original” article(s), click to this link for “Examiner.com” to see/read them as they are/were posted.}

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